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I'm Pregnant-Don't Comment on My Weight

I am now 30 weeks pregnant with my second child. I'm excited...I'm over this pregnancy though. I'm sure several of you can relate. I now have an inquisitive, adventurous and busy 2.75 year old running around. It's been a hot summer. I hate the humidity. I'm glad we are only a few days away the official start of Fall. AND I'm ready to say F you to anyone else who feels it appropriate to comment on the additional weight I have gained during this pregnancy.

Augie & Me-2012
Before having Augie, I was in the best shape of my life. I exercised daily-vigorously. I ate healthy and cooked elaborate, fun meals. I had hobbies.

May 2010

May 2010
This pregnancy has been harder on my body and my brain. I started 10 lbs heavier, less fit, more sleep deprived and still searching to find a balance between being a Mom, maintaining a strong relationship with Andy and being the best in my work life as possible.

Team T & A-21 weeks pregnant
I've been to the Dr. plenty of times - Had plenty of ultrasounds - Had potential gall bladder pains/issues. I currently have a tooth abscess (in the same place as almost a year ago-a whole other story)-been on antibiotics with surgery looming in the future-possibly holding off until Otis is actually here. My feet hurt. My back hurts. I have reflux on and off...with no rhyme or reason. Some days my clothes fit right-most days they don't. and I feel like I'm stuffed into something I shouldn't be. I feel like I complain too Andy mostly...but can keep it cool under pressure -outside of the house....then I lose it at home. It's just different this time. And, I'm tired of people's inconsiderate comments that just add to the daily frustrations-wah. wah. wah...I know...

I'm pregnant and I'm supposed to grow, right? I thought pregnancy was supposed to be beautiful. That people were to marvel in the joy of pregnancy and how stunning or glowing a person looks. No, that's not been my experience. Not with my first and definitely not now with my second. I'm over it and this is my rant.

With my first pregnancy, I heard this: 
*Yes, I wrote this all down and kept it.*
  • Hey Chubs
  • You're stomach is are your boobs, and butt
  • Wow, you've 'popped'
  • You look pregnant" (duh)
  • You look a Thanksgiving Turkey
  • Would you rather I call you Poofy?
  • You look like you are carrying triplets (this after only gaining 22lbs and being 29 weeks pregnant)
  • Do you know what contractions are?
  • Whatever they say, get the shot
  • Oh I won't tell you any horror stories...then proceed to tell horrible horror stories.
  • Oh you are getting bigger. me: yes that's what's supposed to happen. when are you due? me: late January (this was on mid November). Oh you still have a ways to go, you are going to have a BIG baby.
  • Hi Fatso
  • How are you feeling?
  • You're getting bigger every day.
  • I think you popped again
  • You look like you ate too much stuffing.
  • At least you aren't a horse. They are pregnant for 11 months and then they can have a foal that's 78lbs. At least your bag of waters is smaller than their bag of waters.
  • You look like Mrs Clause, but your sack should really be on your back.
  • Does your belly jiggle like a bowl full of jelly?
  • Boy you really are bigger.
  • Wow you are starting to waddle.
  • Oh you can still get down on your knee?
  • That's a big load coming through.
  • You're becoming quite the fatso.
  • You shouldn't wear horizontal stripes.
  • Your getting wider.
  • Oh you're huge. You are really going to have a humongous baby.-38 weeks pregnant. 30 lbs weight gain. all in the front.
  • You're still here?,,,At work 38 weeks pregnant
  • I'll help you deliver that baby.
  • What if your water breaks at work?
  • Make sure to spread your legs....thank you I was unaware that's were this kid would be coming out of me. I thought it was my belly button...ugh
Pregnant with Augie-2012
Pregnant with Augie-2012

This time, I've heard:
  • Hey Fatso. 
  • Hey Chubby.
  • Hey Slim. 
  • You're looking motherly
  • Wow I haven't seen you in a while. You're getting bigger. 
  • Pregnant women pee a lot. Do you pee a lot? Do you have one of those bags (referring to a catheter and bag)? I've seen those on TV.
  • Are you having a home birth?
  • How are the twins? 
  • So is it one girl and two boys, or one boy and two girls?
  • Are you sure it's not twins?
  • I recognized that waddle from across the street.
  • You have how many months left to go? Oh that can't be right.
  • Were you in a car accident? Why is your stomach so bloated?
Second Pregnancy-17 weeks preggo-no belly pics this time!
When did it become OK to talk about a pregnant woman's weight? It's NOT OK for me to discuss your weight and say how fat you are, or that you put on 5 lbs recently, or that your boobs are saggy, or your butt is pretty would be offended wouldn't you?

I have retorted back to some comments with a:
  • At least I will lose the weight quickly
  • At least I have an excuse
  • At least it's temporary
  • Good thing you caught me on a good hormone day...any other day I would have either burst into tears or punched you in the face...
  • I'm not pregnant. It's a tumor.
Next, at the suggestion of a co-worker, I may have to "put on the water works."

Oh-And don't say something on the list above and expect that it's totally OK for you to touch my stomach. Hands OFF. Insult plus close contact, and bodily groping=NOPE. Get out of my personal space. It's not OK for me to touch your stomach just out of the blue, is it? 

I thought about writing a book. I might call it: "Make sure to spread your legs: Tales from the underbelly of a Mom-to-Be."

My brain will never forget the comments.  I know I'm not alone. I have shared stories with others who have heard the comments too. Writing this is sort of therapeutic.

Just a note to remember, when speaking to a pregnant woman, whether you know her, are family or are a complete stranger-No matter what you want to say, just don't say it. Noone wants your advice, no matter how important you feel it is, especially if you don't have kids OR if you are a Dude...Maybe just tell her she looks nice today.


Augie-a few days old -2012


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